In Gentlemen and dating – Part 1 we explored the differences in women’s take on sex from their point of view compared to a man’s take. In Part 2 we will continue to explore the differences and learn more about desires of men and women. The view of the now famous book, Women Are from Venus and Men Are from Mars, is yet another piece of evidence that shows how men and women feel about the same topics.
When talking to women, and a few men, I have discovered that most of the similarities of both sexes revolve around which person is being asked. From my own 30 years of marriage, I have learned many things about my spouse who has shared insights of male friends and their marriages. Although the general desire of most men is equal, the general desire of women is also equal.
Having been married for many years, I feel that a good marriage can remain the same after many years. It may not be the same as it was in the beginning but between the husband and wife, there is understanding, caring, sharing, gentleness and love. There are also alternatives that keep the marriage alive, happy and fully satisfying. I think that open, honest communication of what a person likes and dislikes, and what will be acceptable or not, is the best way for any couple to remain dedicated to and in love with each other for many years.
When talking about individuals (or single people), I think it is hard to find companionship and intimacy without sex coming in to play at some time. Saving sex for marriage is one of the things that I have noticed changing lately. That is just another facet of getting to know somebody. Of course, safe sex always needs to be practiced and all the warnings given about being used and feeling used if the relationship is one sided. The good thing is that if we openly communicate what we each want, we have a better chance of getting it.
All of us have physical needs. A child also needs to be touched. But to think that a relationship must involve sex is wrong. There are many other ways of expressing ourselves physically other than sex. This applies to both men and women. It is not that men are more sexually demanding. Both the genders need to be pampered in many different ways.
For example, if a woman needs to be held while crying or need to have a back rub, the man would appreciate her reciprocating in a way that will satisfy his “manly”, emotional or psychological needs. We all know that there are MANY different ways to satisfy those needs besides intercourse. There is a good saying that “every man wants a lady in public but a PRO in the bedroom.” It’s not very hard to figure out what that all means to each of us, and it certainly might be different for each of us.
Many young people struggle with their moral upbringing when dating. They hear their friends brag about conquests and wonder how much of it is true. We are doing a serious disservice to the young people today by not being honest about sex. Seeing R-rated movies and sex magazines gives young men ideas that about sexual behavior and prowess that is sure to cause many problems with their mate or spouse. The days of yesteryear where the man initiated sex, the positions, and the frequencies is pretty much placed in the dinosaur section of the library. The newest scientific finding that dark chocolate is good for you may play a bigger part in the man’s role to attract a female. At any rate, it will give them something to talk about while they get to know each other before any sex takes place.
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